In my book Afro in the Boardroom, I write about the big difference between having a seat at the table and owning the seat you sit in. Many of us work hard, break barriers, and finally land the opportunity to be “in the room.” And yet, even after we’ve earned it, there’s this quiet tension, this lingering feeling that we’re temporary guests. That at any moment, someone might tap us on the shoulder and say, “You don’t belong here.” That is the shadow of imposter syndrome.
But here’s the truth I had to learn, getting the seat is just the beginning. Owning the seat, commanding it with confidence, authenticity, and power, is where real transformation begins, the 2nd Pillar in my book Afro in the Boardroom.
The Trap of Just Being Grateful
For many of us, especially Black women, we’re taught to be grateful for any space we’re allowed to enter. Grateful to be invited. Grateful to be given a “chance.”
That mindset can quietly condition us
to shrink, to occupy the seat but not fully own it. Gratitude is beautiful. But over-gratitude can become a cage. It can make you play small. It can make you quiet your brilliance, so you don’t seem “too much.” It can make you tolerate disrespect because “at least you’re in the room.” Sis, let’s be
clear: you didn’t get that seat because of luck or charity. You got there because you bring something valuable.
Your voice, your vision, your expertise, your lived experience, they all have weight. You are not the guest. You are part of the architecture of that space.
Imposter Syndrome Can’t Live Where Power Resides
Imposter syndrome thrives in silence. It grows in the spaces where you downplay your wins and doubt your brilliance. It whispers, “Don’t say too much.” “Be careful not to rock the boat.” “What if they realise you’re not as capable as they think?”
I’ve lived that. I’ve walked into boardrooms fully qualified and still felt like I needed to prove I deserved to be there. I’ve replayed conversations in my head, critiqued every word I said, and carried the invisible pressure of being the “only one.”
But the day I started walking in as though I owned my seat, something shifted. The room didn’t change, I did. I stopped shrinking for other people’s comfort. I started speaking from a place of certainty, not apology. And with that, the dynamics began to shift. I didn’t wait for permission to belong. I claimed it.
From Occupying Space to Shifting It
Owning your seat means showing up with your full self. Not a filtered version. Not the version designed to make others comfortable.
It means understanding that your presence alone carries power. When you speak, you’re not just contributing, you’re shaping the conversation. You’re shifting the culture of that room. This doesn’t mean you need to be loud to be powerful. Power isn’t about volume; it’s about energy. It’s about standing in your authority even when the room tries to question it.
Sisterhood as a Source of Strength
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that owning your seat doesn’t have to be a solo act.
Sisterhood has been a crucial part of my power.When the world tries to make you doubt yourself, your sisters remind you of your strength. When rooms grow cold, they remind you of your fire. When imposter syndrome whispers, they speak louder. Sisterhood isn’t just emotional support, it’s a strategy of survival, strength, and expansion.
It’s where we sharpen each other, affirm one another, and remind each other that we are not there to just sit quietly, we are there to shift the table.
The Moment I Decided to Own My Seat
There was a time I sat in a meeting, overqualified, overprepared, and under-heard. My ideas were dismissed, until a man in the room repeated them, and suddenly they were brilliant. That moment broke something in me, but it also built something new.
I decided that day I would never just sit quietly at the table again.
I began walking into rooms not waiting for permission but taking up the space, I’d earned. I adjusted my posture, not just physically, but mentally. My mindset shifted from “I’m grateful to be here” to “They’re fortunate to have me here.”
And that’s not arrogance. That’s clarity.
Practical Ways to Own Your Seat
1. Speak from Power, Not Proof
You don’t need to prove you deserve to be in the room, you already are. Speak from your authority.
2. Interrupt the Inner Critic
That little voice that questions if you’re enough? It’s lying. Challenge it with facts, your receipts, your achievements, your brilliance.
3. Stop Shrinking for Comfort
Don’t minimise your voice, your ideas, or your presence to make others feel safe. You belong.
4. Build a Sisterhood Circle
Surround yourself with women who see you, affirm you, and hold you accountable to your power.
5. Lead Like You Mean It
Don’t just take the seat, influence the conversation, shape the direction, shift the culture.
Transformation Over Permission
This is where transformation happens, not when you’re invited to the table, but when you own your place at it. When you stop waiting for others to affirm your presence. When you realise that your authority doesn’t come from them, it comes from within. Owning your seat isn’t about arrogance.
It’s about agency. It’s about choosing not to internalise other people’s limitations. It’s about recognising that your lived experience, your expertise, and your leadership are not add-ons, they’re essential.
Final Reflection
Imposter syndrome may knock, but it doesn’t get to build a home in you. You are not just sitting in the seat. You are leading from it.
“You don’t have to ask permission to lead. The seat is already yours, claim it.”
When you walk into your next boardroom, remember: you are not there to play small. You are there to shape the space. So straighten your back. Lift your chin. Speak with conviction. Own it.
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